By Tricia Y. Petrinovich
I know what you’re thinking: That this is an article about being thorough and paying attention to the details, and that I was just too lazy to add the words “and Cross your T’s” to the title.
Nope. Heck with the details. For all I care, you can be sloppy and completely drop the ball. In fact, I beg of you – flake out, and give (at best) 50%.
Instead, I want to extol the virtues of the polka dot and tell you all the reasons why my eyes love them and yours should, too. Then I want to show you some of my cutest polka dotted possessions. Isn’t that much more fun than discussing careful preparation of work product? Obviously that is a rhetorical question.
If you carefully study history, you will discover that the polka dot as a fashion pattern started when Dolce Gabbana (whose given name was, surprisingly, Herb Lupton) had a daughter with a bad case of teenage acne. Her frustration with splotches on her face was an inspiration to old Herb, and he forbade her from using Tetrocyclene until he had meticulously copied the zit pattern from her face to his sketch book. Fortunately for us, his wife shot down his suggestion of the pattern’s name being the “Pimple Dot,” and the Polka Dot was born.
The thing about dots is that they are happy and fun. Grumpy people never wear them. I have personally checked with all of them, and there is not a single dot in any of their respective closets.
The other good thing about polka dots is that they are a multi-generational fashion trend. Teenagers and senior citizens alike can wear them with ease and neither end of the scale looks ridiculous. The same cannot be said of all happy and fun patterns. Think “Hello Kitty.”
So for these reasons and more, I love polka dots. And by “love,” I really mean “obsess over.” For example, my entire wedding was essentially a giant polka dot. The girls dresses, and the mens cummerbunds and bow ties were black dots on white taffeta. The hall in our reception room was papered black, and the decorator stapled white paper plates all over it to give the effect of a huge dotted wall. And the invitations were, yep – polka dotted. That, my friends, is love. And a reason for my friends to stage an intervention.
That was well over 20 years ago and my dot sickness has found no cure, so I still pick up items with spots. I know you have been holding your breath, so exhale, and feast your eyes on my amazing spotted things:
- Spunky Dotted Top. This summer shirt emits a distinctive 50’s vibe, and when I wear it I want to order a Vanilla Coke at the soda counter and play Mack the Knife from the Jukebox. I pair it with black capris or a white skirt. And yes, I did have to have it altered because they put way too much material in the bosom-y area. What would I need all that room for?
- High Top Dot Heaven. I might not be a better dancer in these shoes, but I act like I am. The hot pink just adds to the awesomeness.
- Polka Pack. This is a double threat – bling and dots. And it’s perfect for a hiking trip, the kind where you trek laboriously under the grueling heat of mall lights from one store to the next where, by the end of the day, you army crawl into the food court, crying out for water. And a Cinnabon.
I know you’re supposed to grow out of things when you get older, which is a perfect reason for remaining completely immature. But it also explains why you should pick things to love that are timeless. You’ll look adorable no matter what it is that you’re doing, even if, flake that you are, you don’t finish it.